“I am incensed!”
“I’m absolutely pissed off!”
“That makes me completely mad!”
“I cannot tell you how much that irritates me!”
“Man, I’m peeved!”
Tony Robbins uses these responses to talk about how we create our own emotions with our language. When we shout that we are incensed, he argues that those words circle back through our ears and drive us even further toward those feelings. His advice is to tone down your irritation. Work on being peeved instead of absolutely pissed off. My advice is to think about it before hand – you won’t remember to play nice when the heat is turned up.
New research tells us more about language – it seems that each of us instinctively alters our language when talking to babies. Any baby and any of us. The language is called motherese and is characterized by ‘ high-pitched, exaggerated language full of short, slow phrases and big vocal swoops.’ It appears to be entirely instinctual and must have some kind of comforting or bonding response in babies. I have no doubt that it is the same kind of cooing and squeaking that all other mammals do with their babies. The researchers ask as many questions as they try to answer so there is much to learn.
The bottom line is that we are only scraping the tip of the iceberg when it comes to understanding language. The best advice? Listen more. And learn from listening.
Read Tony Robbin’s Change Your Words, Change Your Life.